Rioichi's Heist
by someone495
Summary: Rioichi Cooper was planning to rob the greedy emperor if he found out he was as bad as the citizens said he was. However, upon sneaking up to his chamber, Rioichi discovers the emperor's involved with a vengeful ninja in a plot to overthrow the shogun. Now Rioichi must participate in his most important heist in an attempt to protect the country.
I heard rumors about this man. As I travel through the bamboo fields under the veil of night, while avoiding the sight of firework wielding samurai panda bears, I recollected all knowledge on my target, the castle of Don'yoku. He started out as a member of a rich family, whose business enemies conveniently disappeared, just in time for him to get whatever he wants. Recently, the he worked for the emperor of this castle, but said emperor disappeared. Thanks to his position he assumed the throne. Within the annals of the castle, his riches remain for any ordinary thief to claim.

However, I'm no ordinary thief. I am, Rioichi Cooper, and, as a member of the Cooper clan, I am an up and coming master thief. As a member of the Cooper clan, I can't target any ordinary citizen. There is no honor no challenge, in stealing from the ordinary. However, when one robs a master criminal, that is the true sign of a master thief. And, though I have my suspicions, I must determine if the unsavory image around Don'yoku is justified.

After sneaking past tens of armor clad pandas, I climb a bamboo shoot up to the top of a wall topped with red shingles. And on top of that wall I look across a pond, separating me from the castle, standing over 200 meters. Segments of the building are separated with red tiles, angled downwards, and the walls between those tiles are colored a lighter shade of red. Within each segments, there is a single window on each side. Along the perimeter of the wall on either side of the pond are lanterns, casting a luminescent red hue on the water and in the field in front of the castle. Lucky for me, they set up wires between the walls to carry some of these lanterns.

Most thieves wouldn't be able to cross flooring this thin, but members of the Cooper clan have a secret to crossing such surfaces passed down throughout the generations. In fact, there is plenty of secrets the Coopers passed through the generations of the Cooper clan. All of the secrets of the Coopers are passed along in a journal, known as the Thievius Raccoonus, chronicling the endeavors and teachings of Coopers from the past. It constantly grows with each Cooper. And looking at this castle, I may need to make it grow even more.

With a jump and a rotation in the air, I plant my toes onto a string of lanterns nearby, traveling along with the swiftness of a falcon. And in a flash, I'm within the garden of Don'yoku's castle. More samurai pandas are patrolling the gardens in front of the castle, with two positioned on either side of the front door. And, more likely than not, there are hundreds more inside. The lowest set of red tiles is out of reach, and the only other way upwards is a garden of bamboo shoots growing up above them. This may be the time to develop my own entry to the Thievius Raccoonus.

I climb up one of the shoots, and look towards the tiles, reachable only by pin point precise leaps onto the bamboo shoots in front of me. With admittedly embarrassing shakiness, I pull myself up, carefully placing my feet on the tip of the shoot I'm climbing on, while holding onto the growth beneath me.

 _You are a rock. You are unmoving so long as you choose to. Concentrate. Move with the swiftness of wind, and the stance of a tree, steady yet quick._ I thought all of this to myself, and attempt to steady my breathing. I lift my hand from the shoot, leap towards a particular point on one of the other shoots, and shut my eyes on instinct.

…More than half of me was expecting to feel the wind rush past my face, and the sudden impact of the ground beneath. However, instead I was still, unmoving. I slowly open my eyes, and I look down, noticing I'm poised on top of another bamboo shoot. I inwardly, and maybe externally a little, beam to myself upon successfully pulling this off. I leap across each bamboo shoot, my confidence growing with each successful jump, until my confidence peaked upon me reaching the tiles. Back when I was training this maneuver, I failed over and over, with large bruises to show my work.

From my current level, I can climb up the rest of the building using hooks and lanterns positioned around the upper half of this segment of the building. I wouldn't be able to do this if it weren't for yet another signature of the Cooper clan: the cane. Each cooper comes armed with a different cane, but they always have a question mark shaped hook on top of their shaft. I'm armed with twin bamboo canes that can combine into a single long cane. Using this combined cane, I maneuver up the entire building, looking through each window in an attempt to find Don'yoku.

But for the first 190 or so meters, I had no luck. I saw the gilded interior and several guards on each floor. There were either a couple of samurai pandas, nearly ten bow wielding cranes or katana wielding monkeys. More often than not, there was a mix of guards on each floor. After a while I finally reach the top, and discover a chamber in which the bearded pig, Don'yoku, resides.

He was dressed up in a robe and cylindrical hat, each with a floral pattern adorning them. I see documents scattered on the floor around the desk he sat at. Other than that, billions upon billions of yen were scattered throughout the floor as if in monument to his greed. Instead of doing any of the duties an emperor should be doing, he was tossing yens into the air above him in sheer glee. I keep an eye on the chamber, trying to identify if anything pointed to this man being half as bad as the rumors make him out to be.

After what felt like a minute of watching, Don'yoku looks startled, as if a chill ran down his spine.

"W-what do you want?" he asked to what seemed like thin air. "I already gave you your money, what more do you need?" Did he notice my presence? Am I causing him to fear for his life?

"Why so grim, Donny?" I hear some conceited tone ask. I look around the inside of the chamber, trying to spot anyone. Through the shadows of the chamber I manage to see a figure, silhouetted within. Three different figures in fact. One in to the corner left of the emperor, one to the corner to his right, and one stalking up behind his chair. All of the figures were identical. The on from the left corner stepped out from the shadows, revealing him to be a poison dart frog dressed up head to toe in a dark purple bodysuit. He had a katana strapped to his side, several shurikens lining his belt and a bag filled with ninja gear as far as I can assume. Through the whole in the face of the body suit, I see his upper half colored blue, dotted with black spots. "You don't think I'm here to hurt you, do ya?"

"Why else would you be here, Doku? I already gave you the money I owe? Someone else must've bought your blade!" Don'yoku was shaking.

"Relax," Doku said. The figure in the right corner stepped forward now. He looked exactly like the figure on the left. "I may be a sell sword, but, you know, we've been partnered up for a while now." The two frogs step towards the emperor. "And, after all we've been through, I just wanted to check that you didn't plan on stopping here."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"C'mon, I've practically been raising you throughout the hierarchy." The figure behind him walks up right behind the emperor's chair. "I mean, imagine yourself in my shoes. You've been bending backwards for years for this guy. Now, could you imagine the disappointment you'd feel if the guy you've been building up for this long just stopped at second place?"

"Second place? What would first be?"

"Don't you know anything about who rules this country? Ever since the samurai organized a militaristic rule, the emperor's always been merely a figurehead-"

"Figurehead?! The emperor's supposed to rule the country!"

"They are. And they did, until the samurai's general decided to run the country."

"So, first place is-"

"The shogun, yes."

"And, you want me to become the shogun?"

"Look at you, getting your head in the game like this." The Doku behind Don'yoku's chair pats his head.

"How could I?" He shakes his head upon feeling the pat. He looks behind the chair, only for the Doku behind him to leap towards the ceiling before he could see him. "How could you make me shogun? He's the most guarded man in the country!"

"Are you doubting me?"

"No! No no no no no! It's just, if you get caught, they could easily track you to me! Then I'll be executed!"

"Donny, don't worry. All you have to do is follow my lead, and I'll handle everything on my end. Do all this, and you'll be shogun before the end of the week."

"But, if you fail-"

"How about I put it like this. You can let me help you into becoming shogun, or the shogun will have to appoint a new emperor tomorrow."

Don'yoku audibly gulps, placing a hand over his throat. "What is your price?"

"Don't worry, Donny. Seeing my dear friend ruling over the entire country will be payment enough for me." The identical frogs in front of Don'yoku's desk evaporated into smoke as Doku's last words echo through the chamber. Don'yoku looks around in fear, wiping sweat from his forehead. And then he juggles hundreds yen about, the look of bliss returning to his face. Meanwhile, I'm dumb struck from the sudden revelation. Everyone said Don'yoku practiced disingenuous methods, but I never figured Doku was involved.

Many years ago, the shogun had an infamous samurai under his employ. A poison dart flog known as Doku. He sought to make himself into the most powerful man by perfecting his swordplay. To do this, he searched out any peasant, looking for any excuse to paint them as a criminal. Then, he'd practice a brand new sword technique on them, and none of the higher ups saw a problem with this. They were "criminals" after all. His blood shed was known throughout the country, but no peasant could do anything about it. However, it was always believed karma would punish him justly. And it just might've. One day, he practiced another technique on a peasant. Except it wasn't a peasant, it was a spy sent by the shogun to identify the identity of jewel thieves. For this crime towards the shogun, Doku was to be executed. Except, with his superior skill, he ran from the eyes of the shogun, living on as a ninja to be bought by anyone who wants someone to disappear.

I have no clue why he's so interested in making Don'yoku shogun, but if Doku wants him in this position, nothing good could come from it. Knowing the kind of person Doku is, it is entirely possible that he could make the emperor into shogun. I may be the only person who knows about his plan, and no one is going to believe a lowly thief over the emperor. If this country is going to remain peaceful, I may be the only guy who can stop their plan. I pray this entry in the Thievius Raccoonus will be an entry of victory for the clan.


End file.
